How to use Resolve the Disputes
Tell us what's happening from your side: who they are, what they've done, and what you need out of this. Nicknames and initials are fine. Then choose Everyday or High-Stakes for this case. If there's enough detail, we'll suggest one.
Choose who you're dealing with and paste their message exactly as they wrote it. The analysis names the pressure tactics being used on you and flags anything in the exchange that could be used against you.
You get four complete replies, each built for a different goal. Pick the one that fits what you need right now, and edit it so it sounds like you.
Best for: when you still need them
A co-parent, a boss, a relative you'll see again. It acknowledges their concern and proposes a concrete way forward, without conceding anything you haven't agreed to and without apologizing for things you didn't do.
Best for: keeping a clean record
Brief, factual, courteous and firm. It states the facts, dates and the action you want, corrects their errors once, and is written as if a judge, mediator or HR may read it later.
Best for: people who feed on your reaction
A few calm sentences that cover only the logistics. No emotion, no justifying, nothing to argue with.
Why it works
Baiting only works if it gets a reaction. Take away the reaction and there's nothing left to fight about. Grey rock isn't a safety plan: if you feel unsafe, keep records and contact the police or a support service.
Best for: stopping pressure and bullying
Names the behavior that has to stop, states your boundary, and says what you'll do if it continues, using only consequences you can actually follow through on. No insults, no threats, no apologies.
Keep it factual when custody, your job, your home or your safety is involved, and never send anything that would breach a court order, a workplace policy or your lawyer's instructions.
When they reply, start the next round in the same case. Each analysis uses 1 analysis and sees the whole history, so it can spot when they shift tactics or move the goalposts. Earlier rounds lock so your record stays intact, and you can export the whole case as a PDF from My cases to show a lawyer, mediator or HR.
Everyday or High-Stakes?
Your balance can hold both kinds of analyses, and you choose the tier for each case.
Day-to-day disputes: a relative who keeps pushing, a colleague who undermines you, a neighbor who won't let it go.
When money, your home, your job, your children or a legal threat is on the line. Our most careful read of every message.
Why paste their exact message?
Because the tactics are in the wording. “You ALWAYS do this” and “Answer me by tonight” are pressure tactics that a summary would lose. Their exact words let the analysis name what they're doing and answer it precisely. You can still swap names for initials.
Length limits
Your story can be up to 40,000 characters and each message from the other person up to 20,000. If they sent a very long email, split it across rounds so nothing gets missed.
Not legal advice. We check your words, not your case. If you or anyone else is in danger, contact your local emergency services.