Consultation Prep Kit
Get your dispute ready for a mediation, HR or lawyer consultation
Organize the story, cut the noise and make your goals clear, so a professional's time goes on your options instead of on reconstructing what happened.
Also for professionals: Clinical Toolkit · Academic Access
How to prepare for a consultation about a dispute
Professionals charge for their time. The clearer your file, the more of that time goes on your options instead of on reconstructing what happened. Work through these ten steps, then bring the result.
- 1. One-sentence dispute summary. Capture who, what and the outcome you want in a single sentence.
- 2. Timeline, facts first. List dates, events and actions in order, without interpretation.
- 3. Select anchor messages. Pick 5 to 10 messages that show key promises, threats or changes of position.
- 4. Facts vs. interpretations vs. feelings. Separate what can be verified from how you read it and how it felt.
- 5. What you've already tried. List each attempt to resolve it, what happened, and what the other side said. It stops a professional from suggesting things that have already failed.
- 6. Outcomes and limits. Define what a good resolution looks like, and the limits you won't move past.
- 7. Your best option if there's no agreement. Write down what you'll do if talks fail, and how good that really is. Negotiators call this your BATNA (best alternative to a negotiated agreement). It tells you when to walk away from a bad offer.
- 8. Documents to bring. Gather the papers that prove the facts in your timeline. Use the checklist below.
- 9. Three questions for the professional. Focus on your options, the risks and the best next step.
- 10. Optional: a calm message draft. Write a short, neutral reply you could send if asked to respond, and ask whether it's safe to send.
Fill-in templates
Copy them into a document, or print this page and fill them in by hand.
One-sentence dispute summary
[Who] + [issue] + [timeframe] + [current status] + [what you want]
Example:
I have a dispute with [name] about [issue] from [month], and I am seeking [outcome].Timeline template
Timeline
- [Date]: [Event or action]
- [Date]: [Message summary or decision]
- [Date]: [Follow-up or outcome]Message thread summary
Anchor Messages (5 to 10)
- [Date/Channel] [Sender]: "[short quote]" -> Why it matters
- [Date/Channel] [Sender]: "[short quote]" -> Why it mattersFacts vs feelings split
Facts
- [What happened, verifiable]
Interpretations
- [What you assumed or inferred]
Feelings and impact
- [How it affected you or others]What you've already tried
- [Date] I tried: [what you did or proposed]
Their response: [what they said or did]
Result: [what changed, or nothing]
- [Date] I tried: ...Your best option if there's no agreement
If we can't agree, I will: [your realistic next step]
What it would cost me (money, time, stress): [estimate]
How likely it is to work: [low / medium / high, and why]
So I won't accept anything worse than: [your walk-away point]
Their likely best option without a deal: [your honest guess]Documents to bring
[ ] Your timeline and anchor messages (printed or exported)
[ ] Agreements, contracts, leases or orders that apply
[ ] Receipts, invoices, bank records or payment history
[ ] Photos, recordings or screenshots, with dates
[ ] Letters or emails from employers, landlords, schools or agencies
[ ] Names and contact details of any witnesses
[ ] Earlier complaints, reports or reference numbers
[ ] Your list of questionsWhen to escalate to a professional
Seek professional help if the dispute involves threats, harassment, money, contracts, property, custody, or formal complaints. If you are unsure about your rights or potential exposure, ask for legal advice from a qualified professional.
- Explicit threats, harassment, or safety concerns
- Contracts, invoices, or large financial exposure
- Property, custody, or ongoing shared obligations
- Formal complaints at work or in your community
FAQ
Do I need to bring every message thread?
No. Bring anchor messages that show decisions, promises, threats, or escalation points. A short, organized set is better than a full dump.
What if I do not know exact dates?
Use approximate dates and label them as estimates. Clarity about sequence matters more than perfect timestamps.
Is this a substitute for professional advice?
No. This kit is for organization and clarity so you can use professional time well.
Can I use this for HR, mediation, or a lawyer consultation?
Yes. The structure is designed to help any professional quickly understand the dispute and your goals.
Need to answer a message before the consultation?
Start a case to get the other side's tactics named, the risks in your draft flagged, and a calm reply you could show a professional.
Not legal advice. Not a substitute for professional judgment.