Harassment by text: when to stop replying and how to report it

The situation

Dozens of messages a day. New numbers when you block one. Messages that swing between apologies and insults. Some of them frighten you.

When to stop replying

Stop replying when:

• You've clearly asked them to stop once, and they haven't.
• The messages are threats, insults or sexual content.
• Every reply brings more messages, not fewer.

At that point, any reply, even "stop texting me," tells them you're still reading. Silence isn't rudeness. It's protection.

Send one clear message, once

If you haven't asked them in writing to stop, do it once, then don't engage again:

"Do not contact me again by any means. I won't reply to further messages."

See how to tell someone to stop contacting you for more wording.

Save the evidence

• Screenshot every message with the date, time and number or account visible.
• Don't delete threads, even upsetting ones. Export them if your phone allows it.
• Note calls, voicemails, and any time they turn up in person.
• Keep a simple log, and back it up somewhere they can't reach.

Blocking

Block them if it helps you feel safe, but screenshot first. Some people mute instead, so new messages are still collected as evidence without notifications. Choose what keeps you safest.

Mistakes to avoid

• Replying to explain, argue or "get closure."
• Threatening them back.
• Agreeing to meet up to "sort it out."
• Deleting the evidence.

When to report

If the messages include threats, if they turn up where you live or work, or if it continues after you've asked them to stop, report it to the police and bring your log and screenshots. Many places have laws against harassment and stalking; a lawyer or a victim support service can explain the protective options where you live. If you're in danger, call emergency services.

Not sure whether to reply?

Resolve the Disputes reads the message, recommends a next move, including "don't reply" when that's safest, and writes the safest reply if one is needed.