Workplace bullying: how to document it and respond
How to recognize bullying at work, build a record HR has to take seriously, and reply without giving them ammunition.
By Resolve the Disputes2 min readUpdated October 2026General information, not legal advice
The situation
A manager or coworker belittles you in meetings, sets impossible deadlines, cuts you out of information you need, or sends messages designed to rattle you. When you raise it, you're told you're too sensitive.
Is it bullying?
Bullying is a pattern, not one bad day: repeated behavior that humiliates, undermines or intimidates you. Common signs:
- Criticism in public, never praise in private
- Moving goalposts and impossible deadlines
- Being left out of meetings or information you need
- Sarcasm, shouting, or "jokes" at your expense
- Your work taken away or credited to someone else
What's really going on
Bullying relies on ambiguity. Each incident looks small on its own, and complaints turn into one person's word against another's. A written, dated record removes the ambiguity. It's also the first thing HR, an employment lawyer or an agency will ask for.
Build the record
Keep a private log outside work systems, on your own phone or account: the date, what happened, the exact words, who was there, and the effect on your work. Save emails and messages. After any verbal conversation that matters, send a short email confirming what was said.
Example replies
They write: "Honestly, I'm not sure you're cut out for this. Have the revised deck on my desk by 8 am."
- Peacekeeper: "I want this deck to be right. Which sections need revising? I'll focus on those and have it to you by [time]."
- Barrister (record-ready): "To confirm: you've asked for the revised deck by 8 am tomorrow. Please send the specific changes you need. I'll deliver what's realistic by then and flag anything that isn't."
- Grey rock: "Understood. Please send the specific changes."
- Assertive: "I'm happy to take feedback on the work. Comments about whether I'm cut out for my job aren't feedback, and I'd like them to stop."
Mistakes to avoid
- Reacting in the moment. Leave, breathe, write it down.
- Venting on work chat or email. It may be read later.
- Quitting without a record. If you leave, leave with your evidence.
- Keeping your log on a work laptop or account.
When to escalate
Raise it with HR in writing, using specific incidents from your log, and ask what will happen next and when. If HR doesn't act, or the bully is senior, get advice from an employment lawyer, a union or a worker advice service. Rules on bullying and retaliation differ by country. If it's affecting your health, see your doctor, and note that too.
Get help with your exact message
Resolve the Disputes names the tactics in the message you received, flags what could be used against you, and writes four professional replies, saved in a private case file you can export.
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